Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Soooo.... Martin and I have started using "Time-Out" as a punishment for Anja when she intentionally beats up on her little sister. Yeah. It is SO not working. She loves Time-Out, and I really have no idea why. After she hits/bites/smothers/kicks Greta, we talk to her in a firm voice, telling her that Greta is very sad because Anja hit/bit/smothered/kicked her. Then Anja practically begs to be put into her Time-Out chair. The Chair is one of the dining room chairs, just a normal wooden chair, pretty, but nothing super special. When we noticed that the chair alone wasn't working, then Martin told her she has to sit up straight, because she's in Time-Out. But she loves that too, and she'll sit up very straight with this proud little princess smile on her face. I really don't get it. And what makes it horrible is that Martin has to talk through his hand to tell her to sit up straight while I'm holding Greta in front of my face because we are HORRIBLE PARENTS who can never stop laughing over Anja's cuteness, even when she is being absolutely rotten!!!!!

Okay, that's not true.... I don't ever laugh when she hurts Greta. It's just that Greta recovers quickly and then we all think life's so funny that Time-Out seems like just another funny thing. Ugh. I"m afraid our kids are going to grow up to be really annoying people, thanks to us. I sometimes wonder what God was thinking giving us children at all!?!?

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

Braden used to love time-out too! He would mistreat the poor cat or dog at my moms and after he got a few warnings he would just walk over and sit in his time-out chair, like he was intentionally mean to the animals to go sit there. Now he despises time-out like a normal child.
Jennifer Perkins

Anne said...

Hey Annie, if it's possible to make time-out a bit more isolated (crib/playpen/strapped in a stroller/etc) she might not think it's quite so fun. That's what works for us.

But I can just imagine her sitting there all straight and pretty!! :o)

Anonymous said...

What God thinks is that you are wonderful parents. If you feel you really must make time-out less than pleasant (I'm really not sure you do), you could try facing the chair to the corner. But, please, remember that she is only two years old. Ben was a biter, hitter, masher, also,(he only dislocated your elbow twice!) and so was Sarah....but as far as I know they gave that up before kindergarten. You didn't do those things becsause the others were bigger and stronger. You haven't really reached bottom until she starts biting the neighbors (been there and done that). These things will pass without a major fit.....don't make it a bigger battle than it needs to be....you will only cause yourself trouble in the long run.
Mama
PS I would laugh, too,......in fact, when you guys were little I would sneak away and laugh my head off!

Sarah said...

Ok, I've been mulling this over and here's my advice: While I have been known to put a (barely) two year old in TO, I wouldn't recommend turn them into the corner, and actually, now I probably wouldn't do TO at such a young age at all. Two is REALLY little. She doesn't understand that she is hurting Greta and she doesn't relate sitting in achair to her actions or even as punichment.
She is a sweetheart and what she really wants is to make you and M. happy. So try (without laughing!!) acting REALLY disappointed when she hurts G. -- total drama, acting sad and upset by her actions. Then take her a couple feet away, start playing something different with her and tell her that she can't play with G. if she can't be nice to her.
Don't get angry or "punish" her, just give her the natural consequece that follows pummelling your sister. You can't play nicely, you can't play with G. How SAD!!
Clearly TO isn't working, but something will!!=)

Martin Schap said...

Sarah,
(this is Annie, not Martin)
You are right. That's always what we did, because we don't really believe it Time-Out at all(for our kids, I'm not judging anyone else who does it!), but we started to get kind of desperate. But as you said, obviously it isn't working! And it's really mostly for the biting, which has gotten way out of hand, and I'm sorry to say, has drawn blood on one or two occasions. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

Sarah and Annie: I totally agree with both of you! Keep up the good work! Your children are blessed to have such good and sensible mamas.
Love, Yo Mama