I’m trying a new thing with the pictures, and I hope it works. If not, hopefully I’ll get it sorted out soon.
You know how sometimes you get to thinking about Eternity and trying to get the logic of it and if you think about it too long it gets kind of freaky and you have to stop? Well I started thinking that way about unborn babies last night as I was trying to fall asleep. Specifically, about MY unborn baby and how weird it is that it’s swimming around in there, bumping me and keeping me from falling asleep. It is so weird that they are living like little fish who don’t even eat with their mouths. All they need is this magic jelly cord and they’re good for survival for NINE MONTHS. It’s not even like they’re scuba diving with limited oxygen. They’ve got their nose plugs and somehow with this belly button lifeline, that’s all there is to it. But then, after all those months of being fish, as soon as they’re born they suddenly need to breathe air. ?!? It doesn’t even make any sense! And when I told this all to Martin, his response was, “Doesn’t it make you think of what a miracle it is?” And I had to be honest and say, “No. It just freaks me out.” And it’s bad enough when I get to thinking about it when I’m not pregnant, but when I am, and when I’m feeling the bump-bump-bump in there, and I think about that weird umbilical cord…. Ich. It’s just kind of yucky.
But aside from being weirded out by the being swimming around in there, I am REALLY excited for this third baby. More excited than I was for either of my other two (not to say I wasn’t excited for them; obviously I was… but this time I am COMPLETELY excited without reservation.) Why is this? Not much has changed. Our income is the same, our house is shrinking around us, we can’t fit three carseats into our current car. (Okay, well TECHNICALLY we can, but you can ask my sister about what a joy that is.) But I’m so excited! Maybe it’s because after having two this time I’ll know what I’m doing. (Haha, that’s a joke.) Maybe it’s because I’m bored every day and I need something to give me something to do because I’m not busy enough. (Another joke.) Maybe it’s because I miss breastfeeding so much. (Joking again! Greta’s still at it!) Seriously though, I do miss the tiny baby things and how much they need you in a different way than how preschoolers need you. Preschoolers need you to help them button their fifteen costume changes per hour, and they need help spelling their words and remembering the lyrics to the songs they’re trying to sing. But they don’t want too much help…it’s definitely not okay to sing the song for them, or to write the word for them… oh no. But babies need help with everything and they need lots of snuggles, for which preschoolers just don’t have time. I seriously miss diapering and I’m SUPER excited to start expanding our cloth supplies. I miss the quiet one-on-one time that a newborn demands. Last night at 3am Greta woke up (she had to go poo poo but wouldn’t admit it.) We went downstairs and had a little snack and a drink of water and did some coloring/drawing. And it was actually kind of nice. And yes, I much rather would have been sleeping in the middle of the night (especially after TWO HOURS of being awake with her) but it was so quiet and cozy and she was so cheerful. Just like those early days middle-of-the-night feedings when even though you’d rather be sleeping, it is kind of nice to be snuggling up with your baby.
Don’t worry. I know I’ll change my mind when it’s actually happening. It’s just been so long since we’d had a BABY around here! It seems like Anja and Greta grew up at the same pace. And now they’re such big kids! It’s crazy!! And it’s tons of fun, in a different way.
Okay, time for a subject change.
I received a JoAnn’s gift card from my mother-in-law for Christmas and I intend to spend the entire thing on flannel. I’d like to make the girls each a cozy robe and with anything left over I’m going to make cloth baby wipes. We also got a Hanna Andersson catalogue in the mail yesterday and they had some dresses in there that Anja loved that would be SUPER easy to make. So I’m going to see if they have any of their summer fabrics on clearance and start in on the spring/summer handmade wardrobe.
I know there are better fabrics you can get online, and I wish I could have the nerve to buy online because I also know you can score some good deals. Not to mention the thrill of getting a package in the mail. My neighbor buys stuff online and sometimes the UPS truck pulls up across from my house and I look hopefully out the window…. “maybe I accidentally ordered something wonderful in my sleep?...” Of course, I didn’t. Because I don’t actually like ordering stuff online. I like to touch my purchases, especially fabrics and yarns, which is the only thing I would ever consider buying online anyway. Oh well. Maybe I’ll open a fabric shop in my Back Room.
It’s snowing!! We’re finally getting some good wintry weather. Not a moment too soon.
I’m telling you, this tethering thing is incredible.