So I've been thinking about this lately. Ever since two weeks ago (two weeks ago today!) I've been kind of waiting for all that regret and feeling of incompetence to set in after having a c-section. I mean, the books say you'll feel this way. They say you'll feel like you failed in your childbirthing duties. They say you'll have all these negative emotions, etc., etc., and here I've been waiting for them all these two weeks. But I don't think they're going to come. I don't regret having a c-section at all, really. As much as I didn't want to have one going in, I still came out with a baby, and there are some major perks to having a baby removed like a tumor rather than being pushed through a very small and sensitive place. Like the fact that (and Martin will attest to this) throughout the whole nine months of pregnancy I never once feared the pains of childbirth, but I was absolutely petrified of the idea of pooping on the delivery table. This was my one major fear going in. In fact, it was such a huge fear that that's probably the whole reason my innards failed to progress at all. This was a big deal to me. But then the day came and--SURPRISE!--no poop!! Not even a chance of it! So that was (and still is) a big relief.
There are other good things too. Like the fact that when they said recovery from a c-section takes longer, something like six weeks or whatever, I expected myself to really be in bad shape for the whole six weeks (or whatever.) But these days I feel tremendous. Sure, my belly still hurts a little bit and I'm pretty poochy, but I'd be poochy anyway. I'm able to get around just fine though, and I don't mind having a big smiling scar across my lower abdomen. I'd never had surgery before so I think it's kind of novel and neat.
Okay, and let's be honest. The other perk was the awesome spinal they gave me and later feeling it wear off. It was a pretty cool feeling. And especially cool since it made my labor magically disappear almost instantaneously. In fact, now that it's over I'm able to think back on that whole experience with fondness. Except when I think of the doctor who delivered Anja... he will always live in my memory as a big jerkface. But that's okay too because he's not my doctor.
So that's what I'm thankful for this year. I'm thankful for my c-section which turned out better than I'd expected and I'm thankful for the negative feelings about myself that never showed up. I'm also thankful that I didn't have to poop on the delivery table, and I'm MOST thankful today for the fact that Anja slept for five hours straight last night after a massive gorge-fest at 2:00 in the morning. I guess she understands the idea of Thanksgiving already. Oh, and I'm also thankful for my collarbones which are slowly reappearing.
Yesterday was Anja's first social outing! We had Thanksgiving with the Schaps this year and it was a special day also because it was AnnLaura and Aurelio's birthdays! Aurelio turned one year old yesterday. Very special. I would have loads of pictures to post, but, unfortunately, as soon as I turned my camera on the batteries ran out. So no pictures. Everything was delicious, of course, but my favorites were the cranberries. Which I made. Is that bad that my favorite dish of the day was my own? I just really love cranberries and since I basically only eat them at Thanksgiving, it makes them that much more special. Today we will go to my parents house to eat leftovers and I'm hoping they have some mashed potatoes because Martin and I just realized that we didn't have mashed potatoes yesterday, and of course, now we want some.
Today will be Anja's second social outing. We are celebrating her two week oldness by meeting up at Vienna with all our friends who are in town. I'm very excited for that!!!
Anja is awake now and Martin is introducing her to his kettlebell, so I think it's time for me to intervene.......