Freaking Out

I have to have this baby this weekend. If I don't, I'll be a horrible nervous wreck all next week when Martin is in St. Louis. It HAAASSSS to come this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!

And up until last night I thought I'd be ok with Martin being down in Missouri for 4 days. He assured me it was only a five hour drive "at most." LIAR!! Maybe it's a five hour drive if you're the only other car on the highway and know exactly where you're going at all times. It took him NINE HOURS to get home from St. Louis yesterday. NINE HOURS!!! Between getting out of the city through the traffic, taking a wrong turn and not realizing it until he had to backtrack some 90 miles or something, and then hitting a deer outside of Crawfordsville, he didn't get home until almost 2:00 in the morning.

And I've convinced myself that our good fortune with him coming home last night instead of tonight means that I'll be going into labor sometime soon, when he otherwise would've been gone. I've convinced myself of a lot of things BECAUSE I'M A BIG GIANT IDIOT.

But I really, really, really, really, REALLY don't want him to be gone next week unless the baby is already here. If it weren't for him being gone I wouldn't care about having it early. But he can't stay home from the trip because it's his job, he HAS to go. I mean, he can't just take a random week off work because his dumb wife has anxiety issues (that makes it sound much more severe than it is, really I'm just a freak) at the busiest time of the entire year.

You know what disgusts me? (I'm changing the subject.) Christmas advertising that shows up now or before now. Before Halloween there was already a display at the grocery store with Christmas trees and stuff around it. They have holiday stuff everywhere, it's really stupid. And now that it's suddenly November it'll really get bad. Halloween was only two days ago, morons, and Thanksgiving is 20 days away. Let's not get out of control.

"Finding Neverland" is one of my favorite movies.

I finished the stripey hat for dinosaur (while watching "Finding Neverland") and it looks pretty good!! It's not too small like I had been thinking it would be, and I managed to match the stripes up okay at the seam. Not perfect, but it'll do.

I felt like such a bag of garbage yesterday. I even took my temperature in the afternoon thinking I was getting sick. It was normal. I was also reeeaaallly grumpy. Today I've only been up for half an hour, so I can't really tell what I feel like. But if I still feel like I did yesterday I'm going to keep convincing myself [stupidly] that labor is near.

So yeah, Martin hit a deer last night and he thinks he killed it. There were tufts of fur on the hood. Isn't that sad? He didn't hit it going full-speed because there were others so he was going really slow, and he said he saw at least 5, and was watching one on the left side of the road when this one jumped out from the right. Tufts of fur!!! I think it's so sad. And he said there was also an unidentifiable piece of deer on the grill that might've been part of a tongue. He said he didn't cry, but I would have. The poor deer. And all the car got was a slightly dented hood. I guess the Sheriff was going to kill it if it wasn't dead, but when Martin left the Sheriff was just looking at it, so he couldn't tell if it was already dead yet or not. I think it's so sad.

I HAVE TO BE IN LABOR BY SUNDAY AFTERNOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!